It Takes A Fool To Remain Sane.

I shouldn´t watch In Treatment. It made me feel strange. Maybe it has something to do with a conco I had with Mum earlier the day. How they had a pshychologist visiting their workplace and how she had a colourful history with different jobs and Mum was wondering if all shrinks are a bit weird themselves. And all I could think was how much it sounded like me. I know I have joked about studying psychology and I don´t know, maybe I will someday. Just think I should get my head sorted before that. And yeah, Mum went on and on about how maybe my folks are so used to regularity and stability that they don´t get how someone can work short jobs and not know what they want to do "when they grow up". Funny thing is they always said to me I´m so young that I have time to think about what I want to do and that I´ll probably change my field after I have graduated (whenever that will be...). It´s just... They haven´t said that in a while and in a way it´s freaking me out. So now I should know what I want? Because, I´m still not sure if I do. I did apply and am going to apply some more and there seems to be some kind of track in my life right now, I can sleep and it doesn´t take hours to fall asleep (maybe just an hour) and I can get up pretty early but there is still something that makes me freak out every once in a while and keep my mouth shut. I am good at analyzing others, but myself... Perhaps I wasn´t in the right mood to watch In Treatment.

I am not going to analyze my Mum, I just checked my calendar and the date of our departure to Budapest. And well, it´s pretty much a year after my Grandpa passed away, five or six days later. I don´t know if she just randomly picked it, it could be possible, but then again.

And I finally have a time for the driving phase two or whatever the fucking thing is called. in April. A bit full. And then the woman also said she has no idea when we are going to leave so I need to reserve the entire day for it and call, say, late March to check with the time. Yeah, what, I`m just going to call from Hungary and get a huge bill? Don´t think so. Probably do it before we leave. I still cannot believe we are going. It´s not the going, it´s the five days abroad with my Mum and not with someone who totally gets all the odds things. I really hope everything goes well.

Football, football... Well, Sunday´s FA Cup match was boring and like I said, I was mostly annoyed by the score. I mean, Gunners could do without a rematch, but noooo... I don´t know why, but I was really nervous during the entire match (just slightly less nervous than during the Spurs match in fall and that´s a lot) and kept thinking that we can´t be out, not yet. Well, we are not, just have so prove that Arsenal can actully score. Positive about the match, um, for the first time in I don´t know how long I wasn´t actually concerned about the defense. *shock* I mean, Sagan is always great and Gibbs. I was like, wait, why haven´t I seen you more, because obviously you can do this damn well. Definitely want to see Gibbs more. Midfield... Oh dear, I seriously missed Denilson and you guys surely know I´m not always his biggest fan. I don´t know what was with all of them, maybe it was Cardiff. Ade once again missed the goal of his life and Bendtner works so much better as a sub. And I kept wondering where Vela was since he isn´t injured and shouldn´t be out for any reason. More than just three minutes of Wilshere would be nice too, you know how good he is. Hopefully they beat the Welsh at Emirates. Today they play Everton and I can´t accept anything else than a win since Aston Villa beat Pompey yesterday. (Have I told how much I hate Aston Villa? A lot at this point.) Everton has to do without their free kick specialist Arteta who according to Physioroom has a rib injury, but I´m not still all that assured. We´ll see how it goes and judge after that.

Also, Rosicky is back in training and Wenger is being a huge optimist once again saying he could be back in two months. I can´t say I´d love that more than anything, because Cesc back would be even more awesome, but hell, I have missed Rosicky so much and if he now really is making a comeback then that makes me smile big time.

Oh, also, someone hit me hard. Don´t ask why, just hit me. I would do it myself, but it doesn´t work.

More probably tomorrow, if my boys can make me happy tonight. Until that, take care.

Listening to: Auf Der Maur - Taste You